Hello embe ,

Thank you so much for entering "Invalid Item"  The First Round of "Invalid Item" .

My name is Darleen and I'll be reviewing your prose piece as an official judge of this contest and want to remind you that I realize that for some, writing is a very personal experience, and some criticism can be taken personally.

Keep in mind that I'm merely basing my review off my own personal interpretation of your work and don't feel obligated to use any suggestions that may lie within. I consider myself a forever student.

Hopefully you'll find this review helpful and encouraging!



My first impression was how powerful this journey of a life has been for you. The way you were brought up and how that carried through your life in good and bad times. Even if you were living a life of sin I know He was always in the back of your mind calling.



Since this piece is listed as Biographical, Family, Experience the narrator is you yourself I assume. So I feel like I was getting to know a peek at a fly by of your life and the impact you faith has had on it.




There really is only a couple settings that come to mine, a farm and a gutter. I felt they were background settings to the story you were telling.




The "Plot" is this quick overview of your life as you grew up as a a boy with your family, than lived a life you were not so proud off despite all you were taught. A life of despair and loneliness, ("Phileo, where are you now?") despite a girlfriend.

You find yourself back in your father's arms only to lose him and then your mother. But you find yourself back in your faith living the life you were raised to live, the life with your faith that feeds your soul and saved your life. You receive atonement and continue to live in Agape.



No suggestions at all really because this is a biographical piece so I don't feel it's a piece you can suggest expansion on or adjustments to. it's your story, plain and simple. And you told it well.



It's hard to choose a favorite part because there are actually so many twists and turns that fit well to advance the story. From beginning to end you wove a perfect tale... hooked with the first line, lined straight through your life in a quick slide, and a sinker with that ending of living once again as you once begun, Agape.



I really loved this piece Embe! I hate to say though that I could not get it to fit inspiration by the picture prompt as required per the contest. Any mention of a swing whether figurative or literal or any other piece from the picture. I read it through twice to try for a stretch but unfortunately I have to disqualify this piece from the contest. But it deserved a review and was a great piece. Thanks for allowing me to get to know a part of you and your life!

I enjoyed reading your work and hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .