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Review #4021717
Viewing a review of:
 If it is a promise  [E]
This poem reflects on the significance of keeping a promise.
by Dhammika Weerasingha
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, Dhammika Weerasingha . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to be reviewing your poem that I found on the "Read a Newbie" page. Please keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your work better than anyone else. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this completely. *Cool*



*Buttonplay* First Impressions

A quick poem reflecting what a promise means and compare it to other situations where things are as they should be. The title and description match the content of the poem.


*Thumbsup* What I liked

I think you did a good job of providing examples that can be related to keeping a promise. You talk about the nature of things and the way that they should be. I liked the first example the best. "If it is a river it should flow until it meets the sea." I like the imagery of that one because we all know that rivers connect to larger bodies of water.


*Skull* What Could Use Work

The poem has a rhyming pattern of ABAB throughout, but it doesn't flow as well as it could for me because the lines have widely varying syllables. For example, the second line has six syllables while its counterpart, the fourth line, has only three.

I also felt like the idea could be expanded upon a little bit. I'd like to see you talk more about why a promise should be kept as so far we only have the idea that promise should be kept because it's the natural way of things.


*Peace2* Summary

I enjoyed your poem overall. I think it's a good topic that we can all get behind. I also think you did a good job with setting up examples that compare to keeping a promise. I think the poem could be expanded on a bit more and there might be room for improvement with the meter. Thanks again for sharing with us!




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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/31/2014 @ 5:57am EDT
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