Hello nhlanhla,

I found your prose "A LONER"  to be dark and emotional as listed.

I don't pretend to be an English major or an expert in grammar. I am simply offering my humble opinion concerning your work. I hope you find this feedback useful

Overall Impression:
I thought your prose was well written. You have described a girl who seems to be enduring a lot of pain and heartache. The constant question "why her" resonates throughout the story and when the reason is revealed at the end it seems so unjust to her. To me its no wonder she has become a loner.

Grammar and Mechanics:
Next to the last sentence (she never lie on purpose) should be lies
Last sentance (and give to people,, A LONER) should be gives
All the questions should be followed with (?)
I saw no other problems with your writing mechanics or grammar

Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is to keep putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) You are talented and I look forward to reading/reviewing more of your work.

I also see you are relatively new to WDC and want to welcome you

Thank you for sharing your story.

I welcome you to visit my portfolio and offer a review on any piece that may interest you

Rozebud

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