Hello Siobhan Falen,

I found your story "Invalid Item"  to be a very emotional read. As I was perusing through Newbie in the Spotlight portfolios, this title captured my eyes.

I don't pretend to be an English major or an expert in grammar. I am simply offering my humble opinion concerning your work. I hope you find this feedback useful

Overall Impression:
I thought your story was easy to read and follow. Being a veteran who didn't serve in any conflicts, I have a great appreciation for those that have and paid the ultimate sacrifice. You story captured the pain and suffering that a family endures with the loss of a loved one. Because of your excellent use of descriptive language, I almost sensed this was written from personal experience, if so, my condolences. If it is purely fictional, you did an incredible job.

Grammar and Mechanics:
I saw no problems with your writing mechanics or grammar

Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is to keep putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) You are very talented and I look forward to reading/reviewing more of your work.

I also see you are new to WDC (we joined almost on the same day) and want to welcome you

Congratulations on being nominated for Newbie in the Spotlight!!

Thank you for sharing your story.

I welcome you to visit my portfolio and offer a review on any piece that may interest you

Rozebud

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .