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Review #4025898
Viewing a review of:
 
So Little Time  [E]
A Star gets its Wish - Flash Fiction Entry
by Finn O'Flaherty
Review of So Little Time  
Review by Noyoki
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Finn O'Flaherty

This review is for the 30 Day Blogging Challenge Scavenger Hunt.

*Music1*My Thoughts:

In this short story, we have a wish with a twist. Then again another twist.

*Music2* My Favorite Part:

> I love this story. It's so different from the typical wishing star story. There have been some stories of stars becoming human, but you were able to push the limit and have the star become something totally unexpected. You gave life to nature in this story.

*Music1*My Suggestions:

> I would break this line up: She did not know she was a wishing star. Suddenly, she felt an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her centre as she launched towards the planet of her dreams. (note: removed the adverb swiftly)

> Watch out for adverbs. They're a lot like dandy lions. One on a lawn looks pretty, but they have the bad habit of breeding in your story until they take over.

*Music2* Final Thoughts:

This was a very short story with brilliant twists and turns. We went on a journey with a Star from the heavens to a single tear. Well written. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you,

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Write On!!


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/11/2014 @ 8:04pm EDT
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