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Review #4025961
Viewing a review of:
 The Beginning  [13+]
I determined not to see her again---knowing that if I did...
by Ben Garrick
Review of The Beginning  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Ben

A pretty good personal experience well narrated. Sentence flow and the feelings converged well to make the situations clear to the reader. Reality has a charm of its own, I realize. It sounds like love at first sight, yet it took for a while for the guy to say so. "Nordic blonde" brings to my mind the vision of a tall golden beauty of strength and stamina.
Your simile somewhat had me befuddled- "she was built like a brick pizzeria" I never heard of a woman being compared to a shop. I couldn't get the connection.

The evolving relationship, as I see is based on her innocence and frank expression and his considerateness of her situation instead of taking advantage of the offered goods.

A new kind of story for me, which I have enjoyed.

Write on!
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/12/2014 @ 12:31am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4025961