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Review #4029307
Viewing a review of:
 Hypochondriac Haiku  [E]
Quick you need to read this or see a doctor immediately.
by Yubgum
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*



Hello, Yubgum . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you need any help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Peace2*



*Mushroomo* First Impressions *Mushroomo*

This is an interesting idea, especially because haikus are typically about the subject of nature. I like that you went in a different direction with it. The title and description coupled together are funny and caught my attention.


*Mushroomg* Subject Matter *Mushroomg*

The haiku is about the difference between something actually being wrong and being a hypochondriac. I think it's an amusing topic and we all have a little hypochondria in us sometimes. It's always weird because it brings up the question of whether or not there is such a thing as being too careful when it comes to health. It turns out there is because stressing out about nothing is unhealthy! *Laugh*


*Mushroomb* Things That Worked *Mushroomb*

Your example of a hypochondria situation was spot on. I know a lot of people who go into the ER for chest pain are actually just suffering from heartburn, but how are they to know that? They think they're having a heart attack! I like that example because it's something that actually does happen often.


*Mushroomv* Suggestions *Mushroomv*

It's kind of hard to make suggestions on haiku as long as it follows all rules of grammar and form, which yours does. It has the correct syllable count in each line and there are no technical errors. I will say I laughed at first because I thought the last line was, "hyperventilate". It was funny because I was thinking that it escalated quickly, then I was like, well of course it would escalate quickly, it's a hypochondriac!


*Mushroomp* Final Thoughts *Mushroomp*

I think your haiku is unique and follows all the proper rules of a haiku. Thanks for sharing with us!




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