Hello Unapologetic Poetess,

I found your story "Invalid Item"  on the "review a newbie" link and thought it was an enjoyable read.

I don't pretend to be an English major or an expert in grammar. You don't have to agree with anything I am saying, I'm simply offering my humble opinion concerning your work. I hope you find this feedback useful

Overall Impression:
I thought your story was well written and a testament as to how our mind plays tricks on us. The absence of everyday sounds is uncomfortable because we have become so accustomed to background "noise." Equally as unsettling is how dark it gets away from civilization and how bright the stars are. We have become accustomed to lights at night as well. I really liked the analogy you used in this sentence:
"Like a bottomless well the emptiness of that silence stretched on and on into the night."

Grammar and Mechanics:
I saw no problems with your writing mechanics or grammar

Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is to keep putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) You are very talented and I look forward to reading/reviewing more of your work.

I also see you are new to WDC and want to welcome you

Thank you for sharing your story.

I welcome you to visit my portfolio and offer a review on any piece that may interest you

Rozebud

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