Hello darkmorning,

I found your story "Dancing With The Devil"  on the "review a newbie" link.

I don't pretend to be an English major or an expert in grammar. You don't have to agree with anything I am saying, I'm simply offering my humble opinion concerning your work. I hope you find this feedback useful

Overall Impression:
I thought your story was well written. In this short story you were able to take this young lady from simply wondering about this man to being seductively drawn in by the devils snare. To top it off, in spite of knowing he was trouble, and eventually realizing he was the devil, she still liked it.

Grammar and Mechanics:
The only thing I picked up on, and I don't know if it is meant to read this way or if it is a mistake? In the sentence "I was stood before him, his sharp suit...", makes it sound like she was made to stand there or someone put her there. If you remove the word "was", it would read "I stood before him, his sharp suit...". This makes it sound like she made the decision.
I saw no other problems with your writing mechanics or grammar

Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is to keep putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) You are very talented and I look forward to reading/reviewing more of your work.

I also see you are new to WDC and want to welcome you

Thank you for sharing your story.

I welcome you to visit my portfolio and offer a review on any piece that may interest you

Rozebud

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .