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Review #4031677
Viewing a review of:
 Insulting  [E]
on recovering from insulting someone inadvertently
by Thinking-Reed
Review of Insulting  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*



Hello, Thinking-Reed . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you need any help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Peace2*



*Mushroomo* First Impressions *Mushroomo*

I like the title and the description made me want to read your poem. I've been in situations where I've accidentally offended or insulted someone and it's always a terrible feeling. I think most people will be able to relate because we've all been there before, whether we're the one being insulted or doing the insulting.


*Mushroomg* Subject Matter *Mushroomg*

The poem explores all the various ways to rebound from accidentally saying something insulting to someone. When I think of inadvertently insulting someone, I think of when you think someone is pregnant and you ask how far along they are only to find out that they aren't pregnant at all. That's an embarrassing one. I've found out it's best to just not assume anything about anyone gender, pregnancy or otherwise.


*Mushroomb* Things That Worked *Mushroomb*

My favorite part was when you talked about finding a distraction after insulting someone. I thought that was funny, the idea of just pretending like nothing happened and dropping a glass to distract them so you can make a clean escape. I'll try that one sometime and let you know how it goes. *Bigsmile*

I also like that you come to the conclusion that an honest apology is the only right way to go about the situation. When we've insulted someone, even if by accident, the only way to move on is to admit that we did something wrong and that we're sorry.




*Mushroomv* Suggestions *Mushroomv*

My biggest issue with the poem in its current state is that the flow has some big hiccups in it when iI read it. The first four stanzas have four lines a piece with an AABB rhyming pattern. After that, it goes to six lines a piece and follows an AABBCC pattern. What throws it off the most for me is that starting at stanza four, the last two lines are the same in every stanza through to the end. There's nothing wrong with that necessarily, but it's inconsistent with the first three stanzas which don't follow that pattern.

One problem that I feel we run into a lot with rhyming poems like this is that the rhymes seem forced so the language used seems forced as well. For example, "I know not from whence they came" didn't seem to fit in with the language used in the rest of the poem. There are a couple lines that do technically rhyme, but don't flow well because of the punctuation. For example,

"Can we please get back to normal now?
I really did not mean it. Oh how
I wish I'd never said those painful"

The first two lines of this stanza do rhyme, but they don't flow because we're starting a completely new sentence and thought with "Oh how". It isn't part of the second line when you read it.


*Mushroomp* Final Thoughts *Mushroomp*

Overall, I enjoyed the subject matter of your poem and thought it was interesting and a good lesson for people to learn. I feel that there is room for improvement on the technical side with rhythm and flow throughout. Thanks again for sharing with us!




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   *CheckG* You last responded to this review 08/28/2014 @ 3:36am EDT
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