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Given: Aug 29, 2014 at 11:30pm
Length: 1,147 Characters |
964 w/o WritingML
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP FOUNDER
Please keep in mind that suggestions made are meant to help, not to be critical in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: Just an opinion, but I think "half-a-block" sounds better as "a half block" in the fourth paragraph. In the fifth, I think "slammed the brakes on" would read better if worded as "slammed on the brakes". Again, this is only my opinion. In the sixth paragraph, "attentions" should be "attention". In paragraph nine, "got her feet under herself" sounds awkward. I think "got to her feet" would make for a better read. There are no other suggestions. I hope mine have helped.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: The characters are described well, and the story-line fast paced. I liked that.
OVERALL OPINION: I enjoyed the story. The settings were defined as good as the characters, which is a huge plus, especially in short stories. Keep writing!
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