Happy WDC B-Day!

Some things I Like:

I adore war poetry. It moves me more than nearly any other topic. Clearly, this piece caught my attention.

Though I do love the topic, not all war poetry is excellent. It can easily go awry. I'm happy to say that this is a great piece, and the commentary gets a definite thumbs up from me.

You painted a tragic portrait of war here without tons of blood and gore, which is commendable.

I love the juxtapositions used throughout. Excellent technique for a piece like this and very effective here.

The ending is ominous and has some real resonance. Very nicely done.

Observations & Suggestions:

This piece reminded me simultaneously of World War I poets... Owen and Sassoon most prominently... and of Phil Ochs, a Vietnam-era protest folk artist and poet. Despite the more modern war, the poem has elements that are classic.

Overall, I really love it. There are moments when the balance between daily routine and war begin to tip in one direction or the other, but it never really falls into a state of unbalance. The reader is constantly aware of both. There is some room for basic revisions, but I really think you have some amazing writing in this piece. Very well done!





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .