Initial hook and title: Hey I saw this up on the Read a Newbie page so I thought I'd come and read it for you

Storyline: I enjoyed reading this piece! I always admire it when someone writes a piece entirely in dialogue and I'm able to follow it, I don't always thinks it's an easy thing to do and I know I struggle with it.

It tells the story of two friends chatting over coffee and maybe looking for something more.

Pacing and flow: This piece flows well and offers a good balanced conversation that flows naturally.

Characters: Savannah and Eric are the two people here. We know it's Savannah initially and I thought perhaps a girl-friend so I was a little surprised that it was a male but then there wasn't anything to suggest it was a female either. Perhaps that's the way my mind works!

Setting: The setting in this piece changes and I think you did that well going from campus to the coffee shop through the dialogue. I even like the way you put the server in there too, it adds a lot.

Atmosphere and tone: There's a strong tone of friendship here and perhaps the hint of something more. Nicely done.

Dialogue: AS I say I thought the dialogue flowed well and felt like a natural conversation.



Hope this helped!