"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 



Hi Stephanie, I’m reviewing Heat Rises found on Read a Newbie.

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion! You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story


I think a hook is the best way to draw your readers in and make them want to continue reading. What I look for in hooks are the title, the story description, and the first paragraph. All three were excellent hooks.

Overall Impression: I salute you for writing this story. I tried to write one for that contest and ended up crying so hard I had to stop.
Your story is well written, and one I and many others can identify with. It brought back strong images of the feeling of grief. Images of guilt, numbness, loss, and just plain not caring what happens flashed through my mind.
Your description of the scene at the funeral home brought tears to my eyes. The funeral also brought back memories. I like the way you’ve described the chill in the air, people shivering and huddling together, but you not feeling anything. I thought the sky turning dark and the rain beginning to fall was a fitting ending. I like your closing lines. “It was over, he was gone. I could feel it. The cold, the rain, all of it. The heat rose, the body was dead and cold but the spirit with all it's warmth rose into the sky.”

Final Thoughts: Thank you for sharing this piece, it was a difficult story for me to read, yet perhaps it brought some healing.
I hope to see more of your writings here, and once again welcome to the website.