"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 



Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion! You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.

Hi Pfryan, I found your story, Peace on Earth, on the Read a Newbie page. I enjoyed reading it and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it. First of all, welcome to WdC




Hooks : A hook is the best way to draw your readers in and make them want to continue reading. What I look for in hooks are the title, the story description, and the first paragraph. I thought Peace on Earth was the perfect title for this story. The story description was a good hook, and made me want to read on. I liked the first paragraph, it was just enough to capture my imagination.

Characters : I like the image you’ve created of the Angels, happy and carefree, and not the huge fearsome beings described in the Bible. Your portrayal of Christ is loving and kind, just as it should be.

My Favorite Quote(s: One of my most powerful angels is going to interrupt their television broadcasting on every channel to let everyone know there is something that I want for them to see outside.”

Overall Impression: It was refreshing to read this story, horror and erotica have their place, but it’s nice to come across an inspirational piece like this one.
I liked the image of the angels stringing Christmas lights and time capsules all over the world. I loved the scene where Gabriel came on the screen again and announced that each family had permission to keep one of the lights and the time capsule to go with it that was to be hung on the family's Christmas tree each year on the twelfth day before Christmas.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling :I prefer to review only for character development and story line.

Final Thoughts : Thank you for posting this item. Once again, welcome to this website. I hope to see more of your work. Write On