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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4034073
Review #4034073
Viewing a review of:
 World of the Young  [E]
my first try
by passionate
Review by Teerich - 2019
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi there, passionate

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

*Smile* My name is Teerich - 2019

I am a writer just like you. I am not here to judge you.
Please bear in mind that anything I say is just my humble opinion.

*Reading* *Reading* *Reading*
It is my honour to read your work.
Use whatever you can and send the rest fluttering off into the ether for another day.

I am reviewing your poem, "World of the Young"  today as part of my mission to review Newbies.
I browsed your port after seeing your name on the The Newbies Review Page

Your Title and Tagline caught my attention.

*Delight* *Delight* *Delight*

I wanted to see what 'passionate' treasure I might uncover.
*Check3*

This is a great first try.
It is bursting with vitality
It reminds me of a cheer-leading chant
I was itching to jump up and twirl a baton to it.
*Check3*

The poem is written as Seven, Rhymed, Free-Verse couplets
*Thumbsup* You nail the rhymes perfectly! *Thumbsupr*
They fit into the poem naturally
*Check3*

There is a rousing, jolly rhythm
Generally, it flows along beautifully
*Check3*

*ExclaimB* *ExclaimB* *ExclaimB*
Some of the lines were a bit of a mouthful to read aloud
Minor adjustments would improve the flow a great deal

*Idea* Suggestions *Idea*

Crush the difficulties problems, spread a smile on your face
Accept the challenge, leap over the hurdles of the race
Hold a paint-brush, throw out use your imagination
Pull up your socks and be at on your toes
Because it this is your time and these are your days

*Idea* Please feel free to use or ignore these suggestions *Idea*
*Check3*

Thank you for allowing me to review your work. I hope you find my comments useful.

sincerely,
*Spider*
*Spiderline*
*Web1**Web2*
*Web3**Web4*

Terri
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Teerich - 2019

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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