Hi there, Shubham

My name is Teerich - 2019

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

I am a writer just like you.
I am not here to judge you.
Please bear in mind that anything I say is just my humble opinion.

It is my honour to read your work.
Use whatever you can and send the rest fluttering off into the ether for another day.

I am reviewing your poem, "Invalid Item"  today as part of my mission to review Newbies.

Personal Impression

This is a good effort for the poetry competition.
You might consider including the prompt at the bottom of the page.
This means that readers don't have to go searching to see what was required.

The required words are unforced, and bolded to make them easy to find.
Well done!

Tone & Mood

You capture the inspirational tone well.
The mood is upbeat and encouraging.
Well done!

Rhyme, Form & Flow

The poem is an alternate line, Rhymed Free Verse of six quatrains. Lines have no set metre.
Generally, you have good strong naturally occurring rhymes.
If you made taunts singular, the rhyme scheme would be perfect and the sense unchanged.

I like the metaphors you use, particularly,let the fire inside you burn.
Well done!

Most of the poem flows smoothly. However, several of the lines are a little uneven when read aloud.
Here are some suggestions to smoothe out the wrinkles:
1. The and in four of the final quatrain lines seems unnecessary, and could be removed
2. Into your heart, just take a peek. Unnecessary word.
3. 'Don't bother, the with meaningless taunts. This didn't seem to make sense.
4. And people will slowly, join follow along. This didn't seem to make sense.
5. Let the world watch you, as you go. Unnecessary repetition here.
6. Inner Happiness from within, you shall seek,

Emotional Impact

I like the ideas and concepts you express here.
Your advice is uplifting and apt.
Well done!

Grammar/Punctuation

These aspects were discussed above.

Poetry Devices noticed and used effectively

Almost perfect abab Rhyme scheme throughout
Required words incorporated naturally
Well done!


Thank you so much for allowing me the privilege of reading your work.
I hope my remarks will be of help to you.


sincerely,

teerich

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Invalid Item  This item number is not valid. #2003463 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **