Hi Lee,
This story rocks. No pun intended. The tone is relaxed and gets the reader into the story right away. The reader is taken by the energy of the story and it engages all their interest. The plot is straight forward and moves along logically. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are full and vivid. They come across as real people to the reader. The dialogue is well done and simple. It fits the plot and is very enjoyable. You have used vivid description that pulls the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. I did find two typos that might be a distraction to the reader:

1. golden nuggets- it should be capitalized. It the name of cereal.

2. Wired-should be weird.

Other than these two typos this is a wonderfully done story.