Hello froth!

I like the way you've written the poem. You've used punctuation consistently throughout the poem and that guides the reader to read the poem exactly like you would out loud, to yourself.

The flow is good, however a few lines here and there are too big relative to the previous ones. Maybe you can either lengthen the shorter lines or shorten the longer ones. This will make your poem flow way better.

Thank you for sharing this piece of work with us.

Keep writing, and I'll keep reading,

Shubham