Hi, I'm Bikerider and after reading your story, "Invalid Item"  I offer these words as my review. I hope you find my comments helpful.

Characters:
Kate comes across as real. A bit too easy, but nonetheless, real. Your description of her gave me a glimpse of an attractive woman who would easily be noticed by another character named Jake. Jake is well portrayed. A man sitting in a classy bar finds himself confronted by an attractive lady who thinks his luck has changed for the better. He's not only a good character for this piece, but he is an integral part of the story's premise. Good job.

Errors:
I saw no errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation. (and believe me, I looked)

Setting:
A classy bar, an elevator ride, hot sex on a car (bonnet) hood. Well done!

Conclusion:
There is so much erotica written that is nothing more than a sordid description of a sex act, but not this story. You let me see what lead to the act, how the characters felt after, and why they did what they did. And all of it in just 8869 words.
I am not a prude, but I find some writers throw words into an erotica story for nothing more than the shock value, or because they lack the taste or experience to understand that what leads up to the sex act is just as important as the act itself. But your story is different. Tastefully done without being crude, I found your description to be highly visual, accurate in its mechanics, and tastefully done.
Kate had a reason to agree to accompany Jake to his suite; she was horny and hadn't been laid in a while. She had been encouraged by her friend; and Jake was handsome and attractive. A great recipe for a quick decision to have sex with a virtual stranger.

An erotica story should be realistic, even more so than some other genres. If I don't believe the story it doesn't hold my interest. Your story kept me interested...both time I read it.

Great job with this. I'll be sure to check your portfolio more closely if this is the kind of writing I'll find there.

Bikerider










My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .