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Review #4037291
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Samaritan  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*



Hello, cmfountain . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you need any help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Peace2*



*Mushroomo* First Impressions *Mushroomo*

The title "Samaritan" is perfect for this story. I've always found one word titles to be interesting to begin with, but this one is just an interesting word and it caught my attention. I especially liked it after reading through the story and understanding the meaning of it.


*Mushroomg* Subject Matter *Mushroomg*

Our main character in this story is Aida, who is a girl forced into difficult chores by her drunken father. She meets a buck that ends up being vital to the story. She helps the buck untangle his antlers from a blackberry bush and he returns the favor by saving her from her home life.


*Mushroomb* Things That Worked *Mushroomb*

I liked the ending of the story because it fit well with the title and I didn't see it coming. I knew the deer was going to play some part in the story, but I didn't think that would be it. I like that you managed to complete a full story with beginning, middle, and end in 99 words. I know that isn't an easy task. You also managed to make me feel sympathy for Aida in such a short period of time. We knew she was a sweet girl because she chose to help the deer when she could have just left him.


*Mushroomv* Suggestions *Mushroomv*

There is room for improvement with the grammar in your story. The word choice of "eight horns" when describing the buck was strange to me because a buck has antlers, not horns. I would also add a comma after later in the last sentence.


*Mushroomp* Final Thoughts *Mushroomp*

Overall, I thought the story was interesting and the ending made me happy. It was good to see the buck and Aida help out each other's situations. Thanks again for sharing with us!




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