Hello Running Bear,

I found your story "The Woman, the Knife and the Whetstone"  on the "review a newbie" link and thought it was an enjoyable read.

I don't pretend to be an English major or an expert in grammar. You don't have to agree with anything I am saying, I'm simply offering my humble opinion concerning your work. I hope you find this feedback useful

Overall Impression:
I thought your story was well written and one that captured my attention from the beginning. I was impressed by how you took one small act of whetting a knife and brought so much background information into the scene to make a compelling story. You left a lot of questions unanswered, but I like that because it left me wanting more. What is the story behind her and her husband, who sliced his throat and why, was it her, what did he do to deserve that, why did he always sharpen the knives, was he a murdered? These were some of the questions I was left asking. As I writer, I think it's important to not show all your cards at once and leave the reading wanting for more. I think you have created a short piece that that has a good solid plot that could lead into an entire story.

Grammar and Mechanics:
I saw no problems with your writing mechanics or grammar

Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is to keep putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) You are very talented and I look forward to reading/reviewing more of your work.

I also see you are new to WDC and want to welcome you

Thank you for sharing your story.

I welcome you to visit my portfolio and offer a review on any piece that may interest you

Rozebud



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .