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Review #4038555
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Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: | (3.5)
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Review of My Time with the Team

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Obviously this is not the first portion of the story. It took me a little while to understand what exactly was happening. This team seems to be engaged in sexual action amongst the members.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The previous sexual activity seems to have put Chris in problems There is an energetic group sex with unusual sexual positions. Sometimes too much detail can be distracting.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font to make your story more readable.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Make your actions more clear and state in the opening if the story is a continuation of a larger story.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You last responded to this review 09/14/2014 @ 11:28pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4038555