Hello pfryan,

I found your poem "Invalid Item"  on the "review a newbie" link and thought it was an enjoyable read.

I don't pretend to be an English major or an expert in grammar. You don't have to agree with anything I am saying, I'm simply offering my humble opinion concerning your work. I hope you find this feedback useful

Overall Impression:
I don't generally review poetry that much, but when I saw your title I was curious. With that said, I am very glad I took the time to read it. It was a thoughtful piece that honored your stepfather in a kind and endearing way. His love for his step children and your mother was sincere and never ending, the kind of "natural father" every kid longs for. The manner in which he showed support through your mental illness was evidence of this. You likened his appearance to Santa Claus which was fitting because the unconditional love and care he displayed was the same as what we see in our Santa fables.

Grammar and Mechanics:
I saw no problems with your writing mechanics or grammar

Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is to keep putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) You are very talented and I look forward to reading/reviewing more of your work.

I also see you are new to WDC and want to welcome you

Thank you for sharing your story.

I welcome you to visit my portfolio and offer a review on any piece that may interest you

Rozebud