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Review #4038893
Viewing a review of:
 The Deep Forest  [E]
A 100 word story of the untamed wild
by Woods
Review of The Deep Forest  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*



Hello, Woods . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you need any help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Peace2*



*Mushroomo* First Impressions *Mushroomo*

Nice title on this one. The forest is one of those mysterious places where anything could happen. You're already building that dangerous tone with the title. I wanted to read to find out what happened in this forest.


*Mushroomg* Subject Matter *Mushroomg*

The main character is struggling against the deep forest, exploring and being in the nature. Anyone who has been in the deep forest before will tell you that there is a lot to it once you get inside. We see it from the outside or overhead and think that it is a beautiful scenery, but we don't think about how thick the trees and greenery actually is. There are a lot of times when you can't see well because the branches do block out so much sunlight. It's definitely not for the faint of heart.


*Mushroomb* Things That Worked *Mushroomb*

What I like most about this story is the idea of becoming one with nature. The main character is alone in the quiet thickness of the forest, but is thinking about how easily s/he can walk among the forest. I think going into the woods is all about staying calm. If you panic and try to run through, you'll fall or get hurt. If you take it in for what it is, you'll find yourself enjoying the beauty of the wilderness.


*Mushroomv* Suggestions *Mushroomv*

The first sentence just reads like one big run-on sentence to me. You use the word "which" a lot in order to keep it going, but I really think it would be better to just separate it into at least a couple smaller sentences and get rid of that word. For such a short story, the word "which" is used four times. It can get a bit excessive.

I noticed a couple different repetitive things throughout the story. I think it's more noticeable when there are less than 100 words used altogether. I wasn't a fan of the description of the trees as being "high" and "huge" because those are basically the same thing. A few words later, you described the branches as being high above you. That three times in one sentence that you describe the same thing in the same way.


*Mushroomp* Final Thoughts *Mushroomp*

Overall, the story was enjoyable and the setting seems serene, despite being in the deep wilderness away from civilization. I like the idea of being alone with nature and enjoying it in that way. I do think the story needs an edit to avoid repetitive language. Thanks again for sharing with us!




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