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Review #4039125
Viewing a review of:
 The Woman, the Knife and the Whetstone  [13+]
A woman sharpens a knife in her kitchen, bringing up memories. [flash fiction]
by Dat Bear
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello, Dat Bear . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to the site with a review today. If you have any questions or need help navigating the site, feel free to email me. Keep in mind that the following is just one reader's opinion. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this review completely. *Peace2*

*Jackolantern* Title, Hook, and Formatting: I like titles like this one because I always have to read and see how the three are related. The story caught my attention right away when we got to meet Alice and listen to the description of the knife's handle.

*Jackolantern* Best Bits: The tone and build up are great. It has this eerie mood right from the start and we know that something is about to happen with the knife or already has happened. I liked how it was a slow burn as we found out more and more about Alice and her husband. It gave me this bad feeling like when you know something is wrong. I loved that for this type of story.

*Jackolantern* Possible Suggestions: I feel like the story needs to be broken up into smaller paragraphs. As it is now, it looks like a wall of text. I would start a new paragraph every time the thought process changes. It will make it so much easier for the reader to read.

I would also italicize the areas where Alice is thinking to herself. So when she says, This isn't my kind of thing to do. Why am I even holding this? I like the idea of the last sentence being her realization of what she has done to her husband. I would italicize that part too and make it a first person thought of hers, How could I have done such a thing?

*Jackolantern* Summary: Your story was quite enjoyable and I liked the eerie buildup before we found out exactly what was happening. I would edit it to make the reading more smooth for the reader. Thanks again for sharing with us!

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