Review number # 5 of week September 11-17, 2014

Hi Ann, I haven't visited your port in a while. I have read your blog lately and enjoyed my visit.

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: In the Nature of Things.

First Impression: So true and heartbreaking when it is a child.

What I liked: I think having each stanza end the same with in the nature of things made the reader pause and consider the impact of the stanza.

What needs your attention: In the stanza about the precious child, the line that begins with but, doesn't allow the thought of the sentence to flow smoothly across the tongue when reading. Are you intending for the reader to pause briefly before reading the conclusion of the sentence. I think I would simply say Cursed for his presence then.

Favorite Parts: My favorite stanza is the last one, yes nothing is more devastating than the loss of a child. My son and his wife lost 2 babies, I lost 2 precious grandchildren. It tears you apart to see your son weeping and you can't fix it. Nor can you really show your own grief because they need you to hold them together.

Overall Impression: I don't know what you feel is missing. I love it as it is except for the one line I talked with you about. It is very thought provoking and realistic reminder that death awaits us all whether we want it or not.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .