Review number # 6 of week September 11-17, 2014

Hi Unapologetic Poetess,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Still Warm Under My Hands.

First Impression: Life on a farm is difficult and sometimes downright cruel.

What I liked: The ducks following in a row , beeping along. I've seen ducks follow their mom before, it is an enjoyable sight to behold.

What needs your attention: "I don’t cry but I know I could if you let myself. " This should be I don't cry but I know I could have, if I had let myself. You in the sentence means to me you want me to let you cry.
"Everywhere around me everything is normal, only I are different. This life will not be wasted. I’ll prepare a meal and feel gratitude. But I wonder if I’ll be able to put out of my head, the knowledge of a pool of blood, soaked into the field by the coop." In the first sentence in this group it should be only I am different not are. In the part where you talk about the image in your head you should say the image of a pool of blood, soaked into the field by the coop. That follows through with the beginning I'll be able to put out of my head. If you want the word knowledge also in the there. Then conclude with the knowledge how quickly the duck succumbed to death in your hands haunts you.

Favorite Parts: The blunt truth of how the duck struggled for his life and did all that he could to avoid his death. And your feeling of regret, dread and the harsh reality when the duck ceased to resist. It was written very well, the image was powerful.

Overall Impression: I feel you did an excellent job of sharing one of the harsh realities of raising animals for consumption. Life isn't always pleasant, and sometimes not knowing how the animal dies makes it easier to consume it but once you know it really changes you and how you eat.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .