*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4043820
Review #4043820
Viewing a review of:
 The Adventures of Hortense the Honey Bee  [E]
An overview for a series of children's picture books that I am writing.
by Lindsay Hodge
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Balloonp*Welcome to WDC Lindsay! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Smile*

*Fairyr* I was charmed by the title and liked the alliterative quality or Hortense and Honeybee. Nice flow and kids will like it too.

*Fairyr* The theme for the children's series is original and I can imagine the lessons that could be facilitated through the adventures.

*Fairyr*I enjoyed reading this introduction as it is so child centered in tone and vocabulary. We can see the beginnings of a caring and brave little bee and learned a little about hive life.

*Fairyr* I think you need a comma after "at first" and "out side" is one word.
I can see the first 5 lines in a paragraph--or in with a picture page.

*Fairyr* This is a good basic summary of the start. I can't wait to hear of her adventures.*Smile* Keep writing.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/07/2014 @ 1:00pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4043820