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Review #4043851
Viewing a review of:
 Creativity  [E]
A short piece to spark one's creativity.
by Rayyna
Review of Creativity  
Review by Cinn
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Welcome to WDC! *Smile* I hope you enjoy your time here!

Some things I Like:

The ideas that you express are the best part of the poem for me. You have some interesting ideas about the creative process.

You did not use much imagery, but what you did use is fitting for the topic.

You have some strong word choice going on throughout the poem.

Observations & Suggestions:

The this that stuck out most to me about this piece is the bulky, conversational phrasing. It gave the poem a plodding sort of feel to me, where it could have been light and energetic. A few examples:

"It is not something that has to be earned or bought"

Saying 'it is not earned or bought' means the same thing really. Concise is sometimes best. Your ideas in the poem are strong... so let them shine by removing the overly-wordy phrasing. "has to be" "not something"... those phrases aren't interesting and don't add much meaning.

"A plethora of creativity is just waiting to be found"

The 'is just waiting' is passive voice and a split modifier as well. I promise that I wont go nuts about the grammar here. The phrase 'is waiting' here can be replaced with 'waits'... both are present tense. One just cuts out the bulk and makes the verb active. I generally think that "just" is filler unless used to mean 'justice' type of just. I'd remove it personally, but that is your choice.

"Each building upon the other to create a masterpiece"

This one isn't because of the phrasing so much as a missed opportunity. I presume that you mean the flickers or inventive ideas build on each other, right? I might try thinking of some other synonymous and descriptive phrasing to replace 'each building upon the other'. You started with sparks... those moved to flickers, a little bigger and stronger, so this is a perfect place to turn them into flames or roaring infernos of creative energy. That type of progression is always a winner in my book. Using that metaphor throughout the entire poem would make it all the stronger.

On a side note, I like the 'nooks and crannies' bit, but is that a strong enough hook to make a reader want to read the rest of the poem? Something unique might do the trick. Bringing that fire motif in there might just do the trick. Perhaps kindling hides in the nooks and crannies...? Just a thought.

Creativity conceding to imagination in the end seemed odd somehow. They are incredibly similar (to the point that they may be used as synonyms at times), so why would one not recognize the value of the other? I'm thinking that perhaps 'concede' is a strange word choice there.

Overall, I think the poem is pretty good. It didn't move me or really capture my interest. I do think that removing some of the bulk from the poem would allow readers to really focus on the ideas presented. The fire metaphor is a great one, but it only lasts for two lines. I would definitely think about extending that. I think that this piece could be really excellent with a little revision and polish. *Thumbsup*

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