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Review #4044287
Viewing a review of:
 Daddy"s Girl  [E]
Same story... my heart lives again with her dad
by Ida_Matilda_Wright Help
Review of Daddy"s Girl  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Delight*HI Ida. I clicked the random review page and here I am with a review to celebrate you!

Your poetic expression has a sad, longing tone and highlights a situation that I am sure is very common in out society and wrenches many heart. Even just the title can evoke a positive or negative vibe depending on the telling. It reminded me of the song of the same name but it was more positive.

The questioning in the piece reveal the mind not comprehending how a child can choose a worse situation and yet the simple truth of being Daddy's girl is the very emotional, non-logical answer you can do nothing about. Choice.

I would have liked to see you use "my daughter's a daddy's girl" as the first line and then have the first line be the first line of the second verse. The word "yea" is an agreement and would make more sense there.

I was wondering about using "knows she's" rather than the more rational "realizes". Her heart might "Know it but she seeks what she does not thinks she has--to be daddy's world.

Repeating "Daddy's world" is emphatic as if that's all the mind can focus on.

The poem is free style, which suits the emotional content. I wonder how your last verse could reflect the same style as your other verses: a statement and then the question--eg Does she not know she's mommy's world?
I do see how you want to make the point clear that she is not with you , though. *Wink*

Thanks for sharing this personal emotionally stirring piece. *Heart*

eyestar

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/01/2014 @ 12:34am EDT
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