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Review #4044446
Viewing a review of:
 A Night to Remember  [E]
Its about a night my friends and I experienced.
by CarolynShantae
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello, CarolynShantae . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to the site with a review today. If you have any questions or need help navigating the site, feel free to email me. Keep in mind that the following is just one reader's opinion. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this review completely. *Peace2*

*Jackolantern* Title, Hook, and Formatting: The title and first line are good hooks that caught my attention and made me want to read more of your story. I wanted to find out what happened that night to make it so memorable.

*Jackolantern* Best Bits: I like the way you describe how you felt that night. I've had similar experiences with my friends where we just spend a whole night talking and not worrying about anything except the current conversation.

I like how you hinted at things that happened during the night, like, Arguments over one anothers love. It sort of added a depth to the poem and the relationship between the characters involved.

*Jackolantern* Possible Suggestions: I wish we got more of the particulars of this night. It sounds like a normal night with friends, so I'm not sure what the lasted effect is that would make it a night to remember. That being said, I do relate because I have many memories like that. I just wish we heard more about the conversation and arguments of love and whatnot.

The main suggestion I have is with the grammar. There are several places where "I" isn't capitalized and certain words need apostrophes where they're missing, like in another's love.

In this line, Each and every word that slipped from our lips were so passionate, 'word' is singular so I think the verb should be 'was' instead of 'were'.

*Jackolantern* Summary: Overall, I enjoyed reading about your memorable night. It sounds like it might have been a pivotal moment for you and your friends. I only wish we got a few more details about it. I also think it could use a little bit of work on the technical side. Thanks again for sharing with us!

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