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Review #4044523
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Mixed messages
by Sunnydaze
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Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hello, Sunnydaze . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to the site with a review today. If you have any questions or need help navigating the site, feel free to email me. Keep in mind that the following is just one reader's opinion. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this review completely. *Peace2*

*Jackolantern* Title, Hook, and Formatting: I like the one word title. I think it works really well for this piece, especially when coupled with the description. We've all dealt with mixed signals, whether we're on the giving or receiving end. It can be hard to communicate sometimes, even if you're in a relationship with someone and don't want things to end, you both want to get your way.

*Jackolantern* Best Bits: The last stanza is my favorite. You clearly displayed the point of the poem by describing how each of the two people want what they want and are unwilling to compromise on that. Relationships require endless compromise, so it's hard to make it work when neither are willing to do so.

*Jackolantern* Possible Suggestions: The phrasing at the end of the second stanza sounds a bit off to me. Told me to hang on, I turned to reach out, now you're gone. It prefer to stay away from contractions unless there is a very casual tone in a poem where many are used. Here, I think something like, Told me to hang on, I turned to reach out, but you were gone. might flow better.

I also thought it was interesting that there was punctuation used only in the last line of each stanza. I might suggest using punctuation throughout so the reader knows where to pause while they're reading. In addition, I wouldn't capitalize every line unless it is the beginning of a new sentence in the poem.

*Jackolantern* Summary: I liked the way you described mixed signals and how this couple is trying to fight against compromising in order to each get their way. Thanks again for sharing with us!

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