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Review #4046590
Viewing a review of:
 Mistaken Love  [ASR]
Jotted this down several years ago about a women cheating on me
by Throughmyeyes
Review of Mistaken Love  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Hello, Throughmyeyes . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to the site with a review today. If you have any questions or need help navigating the site, feel free to email me. Keep in mind that the following is just one reader's opinion. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this review completely. *Peace2*

*Jackolantern* Title, Hook, and Formatting: I like the title of your poem and I wanted to read about your experiences. I know firsthand the damage that cheating causes, so I knew it would be a topic I could relate to on a personal level. The second stanza is where the poem really gained momentum for me and I enjoyed it from there on.

*Jackolantern* Best Bits: Your descriptions of the relationship brought the poem to life and let us know what the chemistry was like there. I like the imagery of the other person pointing their finger when mistakes were made on both sides, that's typically how it goes. I wish it was just like the start was a good line because that's how a lot of people feel when a relationship is ending. You captured that emotion well.

*Jackolantern* Possible Suggestions: One of the biggest issues is the flow of the poem. It's hard to read it with a smooth flow because the rhythm and rhyming are a bit all over the place at this point. I would suggest keeping a consistent rhyming pattern. As it is now, the first stanza has an AAB rhyming pattern while thing second has an ABCB rhyming pattern. Also having a consistent amount of syllables per rhyming line helps with the flow.

I also noticed some issues with grammar. For example, You Never said your sorry, I don't think 'never' should be capitalized here and your should be you're. I use to think... I think use should be used.

*Jackolantern* Summary: An enjoyable poem overall that just needs some work with the flow and grammar to reach its full potential. Thanks again for sharing with us!

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