*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4047271
Review #4047271
Viewing a review of:
 Contest Winners  [GC]
Three writing contest winners are flown to Eastern Europe to receive a grand prize.
by Vixey Todd
Review of Contest Winners  
Review by A Non-Existent User
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: GC | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi jih1982,

I'm reviewing for "Invalid Item" . Thanks for entering.

I liked your story about a threesome who were so united and decided to stick together when things became so scary and strange in a new environment. I liked the beginning and the scary parts very much. You used scent so well. The scent had some magic in it.

The ending was a bit unsettling. I hoped she had saved herself from Mathew capturing her and making her drink his blood so that she consented to sex. It felt like she was used to much against her will at the end. I do understand that she could be having desires for the Daniel and David but not for Mathew who she totally refused.

There was a point when she felt a bit of jealousy when she Mathew, Danial, David, and the other two women were at the dining. You could use that jealousy later on. Perhaps, her feelings could allow her to break free of the vampire's spell?

I thought Mathew was very casual at the way he introduced his "sisters". He said "The red head is Justine, and the blonde is Lucinda." I don't think people usually speak like that. Others may take it offensively if introduced by color of hair, skin, etc.

I liked the creepy setting, bats, castle so big, and vampires. You used dreams and magic so well. The flow of the story was also good and the characters were interesting.

Keep writing!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/11/2014 @ 2:45pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4047271