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Review #4047488
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Doing the Floors  
Review by A Non-Existent User
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: XGC | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi dblameck (David) ,

I'm reviewing as a judge for "Invalid Item. Thanks for entering my contest.

I thought this story between a couple who has most probably been together for long was naughty and fun. It's always important to give details about the characters which you did. You described Matt's physical looks through Linda and I also saw her description. Their personalities also came out well: Linda as hardworking and clever and Matt as a bit lazy but helpful. The big question that lingers is that, what made him suddenly decide to help his wife with the chores when he usually doesn't?

It's always good to know the character's background and experiences. Like in their case, they have grandchildren.

My suggestion:
When her jeans tore, a bit of her flesh was exposed. But later when she takes of her jeans, it appears that she was wearing panties. So, what part of her jeans tore to expose flesh?

I'm also wondering why he asked her to take off her shirt at the beginning of the story.

I liked this story very much. Keep writing and entering my contest.

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