Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC.
This is a Simply Positive Review.

I loved the warmth that this story filled my heart with. It embraces nostalgia, family values and wisdom that comes with going through the tough trials life has to offer and being able to share important advice with a grandchild along with a nice touch of fantasy.

I understand this was a flash fiction with a word limit.

Observations:

"I had been putting regular coins in there for years. I just wonder, "Who took the money?" "Who took the money" sounds like the jar was bare when in fact a miraculous discovery was observed. Thus, you could say, Who replaced the common coins with the rare ones?"

I know that adds extra words, but you can read over your paragraphs and cut out some repetitive or unnecessary words to give your ending more impact.

EXAMPLE:
"Last month things were bad. We were 30 days from foreclosure, and I was scraping up every cent I could for the payment, when I remembered Grandpa's jar."

TRY:
One month we couldn't make our mortgage payment due to job layoffs. Then I remembered Grandpa's jar. 17 words vs 28 = 11 words to fill-in your conclusion better.

Write a little tighter and you can develop other spots more, while cutting things that are not important, especiallly in such a small piece of real estate known as "flash fiction."


Otherwise, well done!


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .