Review number # 6 of week September 16th-22nd, 2014

Hi Jewels,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: I am Free

First Impression: The format for this poem is definitely unique.

What I liked: I hear footsteps coming near me. I enjoyed the suspense wondering who was approaching to help this very unhappy soul.

What needs your attention: I believe in this context you mean sun not son "The Son is shining yet I feel so cold. so so cold....

Favorite Parts: The pasture is full of silence. The birds are no longer singing and the wind is very gently. I look up.
He is still smiling with His arms stretched out.His smile is as radiant as the sun. My heart races and I close my eyes. "Jesus.""Yes, My dear child.."
The images of the surroundings as Jesus spoke to the individual are very beautiful and inviting. Thank you for creating such a positive moment.

Overall Impression: I have the feeling the intent was to show the individual's confusion and desperation as to the structure of the poem. It appears to shrink on the page as the individual speaks her Jesus and is comforted. I feel you could make this tighter and still have the same creative flow. By tighter I mean less spread out across the page so it is easier for the reader to follow the individual's thought process.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .