Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC.
This is a Simply Positive Review.


I enjoyed this heartfelt prose/poem that declared what really matters in life. It is not the possessions or the relationships we have, had lost, or hope to have, because without true faith in our Creator's love, everything else seems vague and meaningless, because there is an emptiness we always try to fill.

You weave together many obstacles that get in the way, or are basically fillers, because we have note reached out to our Lord and embraced Him and his unconditional love. And even though one of us may be angry with Him and put the blame of something that happens to us that is bad, on Him, He still opens His arms and takes us back into the fold of goodness and light.

Observations:

"I don't know why I am even still a live." [alive]

"The birds are no longer singing and the wind is very gently." [gentle

You use the word "towards" ( would be better to use toward ) multiple times throughout the poem. I think a replacement word and elimination of the extras, that are not needed.

EXAMPLE: "I hear footsteps and they seem to be coming towards me."

TRY: I hear footsteps drawing nearer to me. OR, ... coming closer to me, OR, ... heading in my direction. You get the idea, here. I'm sure you could come up with something just right to fit your lines.

I think you have a fine, spiritual and philosophical piece, here, that will reach many readers and add to enriching their lives by reminding them what really matters. With a bit more editing, this poem will shine bright!

I had to change the rating on this item because of the non-E words used within the content.


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .