*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4055303
Review #4055303
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  
Review by A Non-Existent User
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi JDON ,

This is a Simply Positive Review
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

I liked this chapter very much. I believe that the firs chapter should draw the readers into the story very much, so that they keep reading. And that's what you did. There are a lot of interesting things happening that leave the readers with questions.

*Crayons8* Plot: I was very curious about the relationship between Henry and Andrea. As much as they are fraternal twins, there seemed to be some kind of unusual attraction between them such as her blushing when he placed a peck on her cheek. At first I thought that she was fond of him because he had been away for so long, but the ending says something different. I also wondered why Andrea's mother was so mean to her and her father wanted to kill her when she was born. These questions make the reader to continue want to read.

*Crayons8* Characters: The characters are good. I saw a cruel mother, a confused yet caring brother and a loving sister. Their family is clearly what I'd call pathological but it's this that makes a good plot and great characters. I hope you will write a bit more abut your characters in the following chapters. I suggest a bit more description about Henry, his history, and his behavior other than he steels.

*Crayons8* Setting: The setting was well done. I saw the rooms but I wasn't sure about the size of their house. The size can tell a lot about their economic status.

*Crayons8* Punctuation and Grammar: There were punctuation errors. I have attempted to correct a bit of that in the first paragraph (because you granted me Edit Item access). I suggest that you do the same. There were mostly full stops missing.

Keep writing this novel; it makes for a good story with strong characters and I an already see drama in the future chapters.*Thumbsup*

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4055303