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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E) A group whose mission is to spread positivity. #1384154 by Simply Positive

Hello Tim Chiu

This is a thoughtful, intelligent poem about human greed and our place in nature. You use language to good effect and obviously have a large vocabulary. You mention at the end of the poem how our need for 'comfort' and 'gratification' are often achieved 'through shady and unethical means'. I think there's scope there to say more and expand on this always topical subject.

I found the flow of the poem a little uneven in places. It may help to read the poem aloud as this can often highlight the parts where the pace is uneven.

I also thought the phrase 'do mirror' near the end of your penultimate stanza was a little awkward.

Otherwise this was a very good effort to write on a worthy universal subject.

Keep writing!

Best wishes,
Mark


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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .