*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4058076
Review #4058076
Viewing a review of:
The Trial  [13+]
A ghost testifies at his own trial.
by duskiestar
Review of The Trial  
Review by A Non-Existent User
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi ,

I'm reviewing as the judge for "Supernatural Writing Contest - Closed" .

I enjoyed reading your story about a spirit of a husband coming to court to testify the innocence of his son, Andrew. My favorite part is when his spirit returned and shocked everyone.

I liked the characters and their behavior.

My suggestion is to make it clear whose point of view you want to write from. If it's from Andrew's POV, I did read that he whispered at the end, but you could show his thoughts at the beginning of the story just to show your readers that you're writing from his POV.

Well done. Keep writing!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 11/17/2014 @ 5:16am EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4058076