Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item for the Simply Positive Reviewer's Group. If this review was a review request, thank you for asking me and feel free to ask for clarification on any comment!
Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as observations from one writer to another. Use what you find helpful, and ignore the rest. Most of all, Keep Writing!


TITLE, DESCRIPTION;: Great title! After reading, your description left me confused- it really didn't fit, so I am assuming, [ hoping] you are going to add more to this story?

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:: Your first two paragraphs really set the mood and tone for this story. Paragraph one is a great hook and my interest was held throughout, I was a bit dissapointed at the end as the story didn't feel finished, particularly after the lead in description. Hence, my rating]

PLOT; FLOW;: Plot seemed well developed and handled very well in this piece, it just has so much room for expansion- a good thing, I'd love to read more!
Characters, Dialogue:: Your main character is well rounded, likeable and believable. He shares my curiosity!
Dialogue seems mainly internal, but moves your story forward at an excellent pace while providing both great detail and background.

IMAGERY; EMOTION:: Imagery is excellent and pulled me right into the story.
Main emotion seems to be curiosity- it really builds reader tension!

Favorite Lines/Parts:
Opening two paragraphs and line; He wasn't wrong.

SUGGESTIONS;:
other than lenthening the piece, I have only one suggestion;
top of the basement steps. before I could even open the door. by deleting this line, you avoid needless repitition of phrase so close together.
CLOSING THOUGHTS;: A great start to a tightly knit piece that I do hope you lengthen, and that I get to read again!


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