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Review #4059319
Viewing a review of:
 grow timid  [13+]
Piece written when seeing a subtly abusive husband. Relating to my own past abuse.
by nakedstreetkid
Review of grow timid  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello, nakedstreetkid . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to the site with a review today. If you have any questions or need help navigating the site, feel free to email me. Keep in mind that the following is just one reader's opinion. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this review completely. *Peace2*

*Beakerr* General Impressions: Your title works very well. It's simple, but accurately displays the nature of abusive relationships. I assume these things don't start all at once. There is a process of growing timid.

*Beakerb* Best Parts: I loved the emotional nature of this one. It's clear that you've had experience with this subject and can see a relationship like that, even when most other people wouldn't notice. The first couple stanzas were my favorite, where you're trying to pick the brain of an abusive person.

*Beakero* Possible Suggestions: There are some potential issues here. The rhyming pattern and flow are a bit wonky at times. The first three stanzas follow an ABCB rhyming pattern, but things are thrown off during the third stanza. The lines are longer and, while having similar sounds, don't really rhyme. The fourth returns to original form, but the last two again have issues with rhyming. Screaming/peeling and crowd/word do not rhyme well when I read them.

*Beakerv* Summary: Your poem had a strong emotional impact and was an interesting read. I would suggest working with the rhyming pattern and rhythm to get a smoother flow. Thanks again for sharing with us!

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