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Review #4059656
Viewing a review of:
 What My Mother Should Know  [E]
A poem about my strained relationship with my mother
by Varla
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello, Varla . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to the site with a review today. If you have any questions or need help navigating the site, feel free to email me. Keep in mind that the following is just one reader's opinion. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this review completely. *Peace2*

*Beakerr* General Impressions: The topic of family can be a deeply emotional one and it is well demonstrated in this poem. The title is direct and effective.

*Beakerb* Best Parts: You did a great job of telling the backstory while speaking directly to your mother. There is clearly still a lot of anger there, as is evident in the end when you talk about dreading having to go to her funeral. We can clearly see that the relationship is strained and has been for all of, or most of, your life. My favorite stanza was the fifth one where you talk about how you could never have friends over and how she never cared if you would recover from what she put you through. It was a clear message and honestly stated.

*Beakero* Possible Suggestions: On a personal level, I don't like the stanzas where all the lines start with the same word or words. I find it to be repetitive, even though it presents the information in an easily accessible way, I would rather see some variation thrown in there. The next thing that threw me off a bit was the rhyming. It seemed to have an AABB rhyming pattern, but a lot of the 'rhyming' words didn't rhyme very well. They were similar sounds and it worked for some of them, but not all of them. Album/fathom and suffer/recover are prime examples.

*Beakerv* Summary: Overall, I think you did a nice job of delivering a concise message. I felt like some parts were a bit repetitive and lacked flowing rhymes. Thanks again for sharing with us!

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