I enjoyed the use of those posters that have hidden pictures within them that need the eyes to look slightly askance at them in order to see the secret image imbedded inside the abstract art.

Having the protagonist visualizing the images in a surreal way, was another good use of the posters as a medium for laying-out the horror introduction to the story.

Observations:

"him trying to stop and slipping and falling between the platform and train, the train moving and twisting him apart, [.] literally." You don't need the word "literally" the reader gets that it actually happened; it was not just a "vision."

"Then, the TV went off, snap, just like that. I was just... just staring at it. Then roll ‘em, bring out the popcorn." Repeat use of the word "then." However, there is a lack of clarification in this part. When you cut words to fit within a flash fiction, sometimes you need to be careful not to toss out words that paint a clear picture. The fragmented parts here need some cohesiveness.

TRY: Suddenly, the TV shut off while I was staring at it, and then the nightmare began. Then go on to describe the last scene. (Which led to a great, horror ending by the way.)

You responded to this review 12/11/2014 @ 6:16am EST

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