*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4066606
Review #4066606
Viewing a review of:
 For Me  [E]
A scene of love and sadness
by Bryan
Review of For Me  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Hello, Bryan . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to the site with a review today. If you have any questions or need help navigating the site, feel free to email me. Keep in mind that the following is just one reader's opinion. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this review completely. *Snow1*

*Ornament2r* General Impressions: A tale of love and hate with powerful imagery and an emotional tone. This was a good read!

*Ornament1g* Best Parts: My favorite part was the imagery in the third stanza:

A drop trickled down
Her smooth rosy cheeks.
Blood on her crown,
My heart skipped its beats.

The 'blood on her crown' was particularly well-written and brought vivid images to mind. There was a lot of emotional impact in just that one line, as well as in the rest of the poem.

*Ornament3r* Possible Suggestions: I had a little bit of an issue with the verb/tense changes in the poem. There are some parts that are present tense and some that are past. Slowly she leans is present, but then Closer she came is past tense. That whole stanza was a bit of a weak point to me because I'm not sure what Of all the scenes and all the frame means either. It seems like an incomplete thought to me.

*Ornament4g* Summary: This was an enjoyable read and the imagery added a lot of emotion to the words. There may be room for improvement with verb-tense usage and clarity. Thanks again for sharing with us!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 12/09/2014 @ 11:53pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4066606