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Review #4066608
Viewing a review of:
 More Every Day  [E]
A poem about a loved one. Enjoy :)
by Patrick Gorman
Review of More Every Day  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello, Patrick Gorman . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to the site with a review today. If you have any questions or need help navigating the site, feel free to email me. Keep in mind that the following is just one reader's opinion. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this review completely. *Snow1*

*Ornament2r* General Impressions: This is a sweet and romantic poem to a significant either listing all the things about the other person that makes the narrator love them more every day written in an AAAB rhyming pattern.

*Ornament1g* Best Parts: First of all, I really like that you chose to punctuate this poem because it's so important to do that in order to keep the flow, especially in lines like: The way you walk, your confidence, style which wouldn't flow as well if the reader didn't pause for those commas.

My favorite part was the repetition of the last line: Makes me love you more every day in each stanza. I feel like it works well for this type of poem and it's an echo of the title.

*Ornament3r* Possible Suggestions: There was one line that stood out to me as not keeping rhythm with the rest. The ways you respond to sweet words in a poem had a few too many syllables to flow with the one before and after. I also don't think poem rhymes with alone/home smoothly.

In the line: Replay every word that you'd said, I thought you'd was a strange choice there. You've for you have might work better there indicating that (s)he's kept awake by the things said over the course of the relationship instead of a vague time frame.

*Ornament4g* Summary: I thought this was a nice poem to write about someone you care about. It was quite thoughtful and flowed well for the most part. There are a couple slight language/flow issues that may be improved upon. Thanks again for sharing with us!

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