I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" .
Thanks so much for entering!

Some things I Like:

This is a pretty enjoyable piece, love. There was just enough description and detail for the setting, and a bar is always a good hook for me.

Observations & Suggestions:

For the contest, the POV isn't quite right. It is supposed to introduce a character in their own words... as in, first person. If you do not place in the contest, that may be why. It has no bearing on the story though... the POV you used worked well outside the prompt.

The pacing was good. You had just the right amount of details. There could have been a bit more characterization, but I still think Jo is a relatively strong character. At some point near the middle, it got a bit less interesting for me, and I started wondering where it was really going... but overall, it was a decent read for me.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .