I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" .
Thanks so much for entering!

Some things I Like:

There are definitely some interesting moments in this story. It was a decent read.

Observations & Suggestions:

There were some things that didn't quite gel for me, to be honest. I never really had a clear idea of why they were mad at her. So... Mara and Edward found out about each other... and? She broke some rules I guess, but it all seemed super melodramatic to me.

The characterization was pretty good at times, and other times, Erin's motives just seemed to disappear for me. The ending made sense in some ways, but it seems like it should have had more emotional pull than it did.

On a side note, I thought she acted like a 'typical teen'. The voice, the attitude... all pretty teenager. I was surprised that she would admit to herself that she liked the rules and authority, but otherwise, it was pretty cohesive in that regard. Overall, it's a nice entry, but it never quite came together for me somehow.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .